


This is the Place

by 1PB2PB3PB4



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Maybe - Freeform, Mental Health Issues, School Shootings, Season 2, Season/Series 02 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 09:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14713094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1PB2PB3PB4/pseuds/1PB2PB3PB4
Summary: "This is not the first time he's caught Clay Jensen being fucking weird."A look at bits of season 2 though Justin's eyes, specifically Clay's mental health and Justin integrating into the Jensen household. Mostly the last 3 episodes.





	This is the Place

**Author's Note:**

> This is no worse than the show, so if you've seen that, then you're fine. This was meant to be about Clay having hallucinations throughout season 2 and the fact that no one mentioned it, but then it turned more into Justin's view on a whole lot of other things as well.  
> What did everyone think of series 2? I found the change in character dynamics pretty interesting.  
> I don't own obviously, and I apologise for any spelling or grammar erros. hope you enjoy

“What the hell Jensen?” he pauses in the door way to Clay’s room, the other boy is lying on his bed clutching his head, hands over his ears screaming at- something? to leave him alone. Justin’s pretty damn concerned because he’s _reasonably _sure that Jensen’s not shouting at him, and there’s no one else there; which begs the question- what exactly is Jensen shouting at? At first he kinda thought bad trip, but well, despite the rumours at school, and his admission to doing drugs in his testimony, Clay’s really not the stoner type- and he should know. A sudden extra strong longing for a little something to take the edge off shoots through him, he shakes his head and walks in to the room; he decides to put whatever the fuck was up with Jensen out of his mind, he knows the trial is hitting him hard and now that the other boy has stopped it’s probably not a concern.__

__

__Though apparently just because he decided to put Jensen out of his mind it didn’t mean that his mind agreed with his decision. This is not the first time he has caught Jensen being fucking _weird _. Not at all, but then again Clay Jensen is a bit of a weirdo, especially about Hannah, his outburst when showing some random newbies around the school in the middle of the tape fiasco springs to mind as an example. Then again even if Jensen wasn’t kinda off, Justin thinks probably anyone would be a bit weird about hiding a junkie who you hate in your bedroom, especially one who’s been a total dick to you in the past. So yeah overall he doesn’t think it’s too weird in context that one morning when he woke up and Jensen was staring creepily at him. He asks him what the fuck he is looking at anyway because A. it’s fucking creepy, and B. he’s pretty sure he heard Jensen say something about him looking all adorable in sleep- which just makes it fucking creepier.___ _

____When he wakes up properly a little later he does wonder who Jensen was talking to, but just assumes it was one of fucking Padilla, or maybe Sherri, his , _fucking _babysitters, on the phone. Which pisses him off, he doesn’t want Clay Jensen talking to his friends about him behind his fucking back. Now he wonders if perhaps Clay was talking to himself, which really just makes everything creepier still and is kinda concerning. Then again he guesses it’s not too weird to talk things through out loud with yourself; he just wishes he could forget the niggling doubt that reminds him it sounded very much like Clay was having a conversation. Still could be a phone call though. It continues to bug him though, Jensen does this a lot whenever he thinks Justin is asleep and he’s caught him getting dressed in his fucking _closet _even though they’ve changed in front of each other dozens of times at school._____ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Then it’s a few days later and he’s living in the Jensens’ house. They have family breakfasts, and Mr Jensen is so chill and Mrs Jensen seems to really like him. He feels safe and he actually feels like part of the family in a way he never did when relying on Bryce’s charity in the past. He gets the feeling Jensen resents him though, like a lot. He’s not sure whose attitude he hates more, Jensen’s simmering resentment, or Bryce’s patronising sympathy and consequent lording of this action over him. He gets pissed off at Jensen though, he’s got this amazing family, yet he seems to blow them off all the time. Justin loves his mum, but he wishes that she gave even half as much of a shit about him as Jensen’s parents seem to care about Clay. He sort of wants to talk to them about Jensen and his fucking weird behaviour, but A. they probably know and he’s unsure how he’d bring it up regardless, and B. he knows he needs to keep Jensen on side if he wants to continue to stay here, something tells him ratting him out to his parents about whatever is going on here would get him even more firmly on Clay’s bad side. Justin really doesn’t want to go back onto the streets. Then the Jensen’s all blow up at each other and he decides to leave anyway. Clearly he’s just destined to keep fucking up the lives of all the people who do something nice to help him, Hannah, Jess, Clay._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After he misses the bus he honestly has no clue what to do. He doesn’t _want _to be homeless again but it looks like might not have that much of a choice. He’s got nowhere else to go, he’s never going to go near Bryce again if he can avoid it, Jess, well yeah that’s obvious why, and he’s pretty sure he burned his last bridge with Clay by skipping out on the Jensens. Justin is too proud to go crawling back now, too embarrassed really, and he knows Jensen isn’t going to ask for him to go back. He opens his phone- given to him by the Jensens- debating whether it’s worth it to contact Alex, he’s not even sure he can remember his number. All his contacts were programmed into his old phone. That’s when he sees all the messages from Clay, and he hardly dares to hope. It turns out Clay just wants his help, but he’ll take what he can get and this might mean he doesn’t have to sleep on the streets. Anyway he thinks he owes Clay for trying to help him, even though he is sure Clay wouldn’t think so. That’s partly why he is so keen to return the favour, Bryce would always make it clear he expected something from Justin in return. He waits until Clay swings by to pick him up and they go to see Jess.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He’s sitting with Jess in Monet’s after Chloe failed… not failed, decided she couldn’t testify against Bryce. He’s missed her so much, and it’s really nice to be able to talk to her without her hating him. He knows it’s entirely deserved though and he’s always torn between wanting her to forgive him because he so desperately wants her to love him, and wanting her to hate him because of what he di- let Bryce do to her. This though, this is nice, now he just wishes he could be here without any other reason than simply hanging out, even if he doubts they ever will again. It hurts that the only thing they connect over now is Bryce, the thing he so desperately wants to move on from, in an attempt to get him on trial. Possibly the one thing Justin wants the most. He tries to lay himself bare, to let Jess let him do this for her. Try his best to get Bryce behind bars where he belongs. It works, or maybe it’s just that Jess is ready now, but she agrees to let him testify, and he is happiest he’s been in a while. He feels so good, and then a phone rings._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He freaks a little when he hears Clay’s phone call, or rather overhears Jensen’s call to Jess. Clay sounds- off, not like a lot, but enough to get Justin concerned. What does concern him is where Clay asks Jess to meet him. Fucking _Bryce’s _house. That does not sound good. Firstly for what reason in hell would Clay asks Jess to go to the house of her own fucking rapist, that makes Justin really angry at Jensen. Then he turns more confused because Clay is not actually that socially clueless which means that he’s probably more concerned with something else- _that _worries Justin a lot. This means Clay is probably not thinking clearly at all, he thinks back to all the weird stuff he’s caught Clay doing in his room, and before he can think this through anymore he’s standing up and stretching out his hand to take Clay’s keys from Jess._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He can’t get to Bryce’s house fast enough, slamming on the brakes and jumping out of the car as fast as he can once he arrives. On the drive over all he can think is that Clay is going to do something really stupid. He’s heard that the last time Clay went to Bryce’s it was at the height of the tape fiasco and that he egged Bryce into beating the ever-loving shit out of him so badly that he had to go to the hospital. He’s heard the “tape 14” as well now, and he thinks that clearly Clay’s self preservation instincts turn to shit whenever he thinks about Hannah, and Bryce, and Hannah and Bryce. When he gets there though he internally laughs at the idea that he was fucking worried about Clay on the drive here or in Monet’s._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Oh no, he’s fucking terrified for Clay now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Clay has a _gun _. Clay Jensen has a gun and an absolutely wild look in his eyes. Justin’s been there, and he knows exactly what Clay wants and he knows why Clay can’t. Clay is crying and waving the gun around madly, and Justin wonders if maybe you know, he hasn’t actually been there, because while he’d offered to kill Bryce he’d certainly been more stable than Clay appears to be now.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Justin tries to talk Clay down, saying whatever he thinks would help, he tells Clay that Jess has let him testify, desperately tries to let Clay he doesn’t have to do this. A small part of him wonders what the fuck is wrong with Clay, but he squashes that down tight because frankly he doesn’t have the time to be distracted right now. He thinks he’s making progress and then Clay says something that makes his blood run colder if that could even be fucking possible._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“She won’t stop, I can’t make her stop” Clay utters, almost to himself,_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Justin pauses and then asks, part worried, part confused “who, what are you talking about Jensen?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He thinks he knows though, and he’s fast reconsidering all the weird things he’s caught Jensen doing including him walking in on Clay screaming at something invisible to go away. Before he can think about this more though, Clay tries his best to give Justin a fucking heart attack and pull out increasingly concerning actions out of thin fucking air. Clay has brought the gun up to his head and is mumbling to the thin air, apparently at something only he can see. Justin inches forward as fast as he dares, only goal to get the gun off Clay before everything goes to hell._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Everything goes to hell, but not in the way Justin was expecting. No, Bryce sees it fit to leave his house and see what all the commotion is._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“What the hell?” Bryce asks, and Justin has no fucking time for Bryce, to concerned with attempting to keep all the bullets in Clay’s gun and everyone’s brains in their skulls. He tells his former friend as much as he closes the gap between himself and Clay grabbing the gun off him and ushering his friend back into his car. Before he goes he makes sure Bryce won’t tell anyone about this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________They drive back in silence and so many thoughts are running through Justin’s head. He’s just about to open his mouth to say something, asks what just happened when he catches sight of a car in the rear view mirror. He decides getting away from their tail is more important, and he needs to concentrate on this, he tersely reassures Clay that yes, he is going to testify, and they do not bring up what happened for the rest of the car ride._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________When they pull in to the front of the Clay’s house he doesn’t get out immediately. He swallows and then steels himself to ask,_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Clay, where did you get the gun?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I, uh I borrowed it from a friend.” That reassures Justin a bit, at least Clay isn’t going around illegally buying guns, and if it’s returned then he won’t have access to it again. He urges Clay to return it and before he can try to bring up what Clay had meant by she won’t stop outside Bryce’s house Clay has gone inside. Justin doesn’t feel comfortable bringing this up in front of Clay’s parents, and settles with staying up all night to make sure Clay doesn’t do anything stupid. At least he intends to, he thinks he hears Clay whispering to the air again, but by the morning he’s not sure if it was just a dream._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Things snowball a little after that, he testifies against Bryce at the trial, and then he gives evidence to corroborate Jessica’s story at the police station and shortly after he is arrested. He doesn’t have time to confront Clay or his parents. Then it’s a month in juvie- it rankles a lot that he has to do time, but Bryce won't, but he can't say he didn't expect it. But yeah, suffice to say he has _much _bigger things to worry about in juvie.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He gets out on the day of Hannah’s service, and it’s honestly amazing how happy everyone is to see him. Zach gives him such a tight hug he’s not entirely unconvinced his ribs haven’t been broken. Jess and Alex are both pleased to see him, as are all three of the Jensens. Lanie leaves him and Clay alone to talk, and a part of him wonders if Clay is going to explain what was up with him. But no, it turns out the Jensens want to _adopt _him. He thinks he might cry. Then Clay explains why he’s the one asking, not his parents and he does.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He kinda wants to tell Clay to fuck off when he asks him if he’s crying, he thinks he got the right, but he doesn’t, he just wants Clay to know how grateful he is. He also wants to make sure that Clay knows this doesn’t make him, Justin, suddenly alright and a good person though, so he voices his oly objection._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You know I’m kinda fucked up right?” Clay gives a little laugh and shakes his head before retorting,_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Yeah, but A. you’re clean now, and B. I’m kinda fucked up too.” Justin wonders if maybe now Clay will go until a little bit of detail as to exactly what was, and probably is still up with him, but Clay doesn’t elaborate. Justin doesn’t want to push, not now, not if there is any chance this could put his chance at adoption in jeopardy, so once again he bites his tongue and doesn’t voice his concerns about Clay. Even though by now he knows he should. Clay put a fucking gun up against his head and all the follow through Justin did was a quick search of their shared room to check it was gone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________They settle into something of a rhythm at the Jensen household and Justin begins to feel safe once again. He feels guilty and sick that he still shoots up, but he’s trying to monitor it, so it doesn’t get out of control. He hasn’t felt this good in, well maybe ever, it’s better than last time at the Jensens because instead of a respite this is now his life and it feels so good. He gets dinner and adults who actually give a shit about his wellbeing. He has a brother, and people who care about him without wanting anything in return. It’s after a week of this, that he finally finds the courage to talk to Clay about that night._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Clay, what… what was happened, what was that all about at Bryce’s house? You said “she won’t stop” and you held a gun to your head. Jesus Christ what were you thinking?” Clay stills a little and doesn’t reply._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Justin decides to continue, “I’m worried about you, and if you don’t talk to me I’m gonna tell your parents.” That gets Clay reacting and all of a sudden the other boy can’t seem to get his words out fast enough._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Jesus, no don’t, Christ don’t do that , fuck no Justin, you don’t need to worry, I’m not going to do that again, please don’t tell them, our parents would kill me if they found out I got a gun, especially since you know,” Clay drops into a whisper here “I tried to kill Bryce. It was a thing, I’m over it, the trial’s over, it was just stress caused by the trial really, don’t worry.” Clay looks like he could keep babbling, but Justin chooses to interrupt him here, the ghost of a smile from the phrase our parents still lingering on his face despite the sombre tone of the conversation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“It didn’t look like, nothing that night.” Clay opens his mouth to protest again, and Justin decides to accept defeat, “okay, if you promise you don’t wanna you know,” here Justin points a finger gun at his head, “I’ll keep quiet, and also if you swear it was just the trial.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Clay looks so grateful as he nods and utters “I swear.”. Justin knows he should probably not just let it lie, but he feels like he hasn’t really got a leg to stand on with the heroin and keeping secrets about your well-being from parents. He decides that if he catches Clay talking to himself again he’ll bring it up, but otherwise he’ll let it go. If Clay acts better he probably is right? And there’s no point bringing up the past? He just wishes he was surer of this himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Time flies after that, and suddenly it’s the night of the spring fling. Clay’s ribbing him about his inability to tie a tie, and Justin shoots back. It’s really nice this brother thing. When they arrive at the formal he sees Alex and Jess, together. It hurts, but he tries his best to convey how happy he is for them, and he really is. They’re good to each other, and they clearly care about each other a lot. Jess seems really happy, and he guesses that is enough. He wanders over to the refreshments table and grabs a bottle of water when an incredibly unwelcome voice comes through his ear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Do you want a real drink” Bryce asks, smirk audible on his face and flask in hand,_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I’m fine,” he returns, voice flat, refusing to turn his head back to the fucking rapist beside him. Then, because he was honestly hoping Bryce would be gone, “ I heard that you were transferring.” It turns out that Bryce isn’t gone yet and that really rankles. It rankles more when Bryce calls him “brother” like he has the _fucking right _and he’s about to walk off when Clay strolls up, clearly looking for him. He bites his tongue on a retort about Clay being his brother, not Bryce, wanting to get away as fast as possible. He observes Clay and Bryce’s low tone conversation, impressed despite himself at Clay’s confidence. However, despite telling himself he will stay out of this conversation he jerks forward a little when Bryce echoes his words from earlier, saying that Jensen needs to get laid. Justin, _does not _want to sound like a fucking rapist, and struggles to hold himself back as Bryce walks off. He knows once he starts to get into it with Bryce he won’t be able to stop and he really doesn’t want to start another fight at the dance._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________The dance continues and he’s actually having a really great time, talking and catching up with Zach, it’s disconcerting, but nice when Clay drags them both up to dance with him to some fast paced song, and he actually manages to forget everything for a bit and just enjoy the moment. No Hannah, no tapes, no Bryce, no trial, no concerns about Clay. Of course that’s when it all goes to shit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Some girl, he doesn’t know her name comes rushing up to Clay and that punk-esque guy that encouraged Clay to dance showing them some text. It’s clearly freaking out Clay something chronic and he’s telling Justin to lock the doors and get everyone somewhere safe before calling Tony. Before Justin can ask, what, or why Clay can’t do it he’s taken off, leaving Justin standing there dumbly before running off to find Jess._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Once he’s done that he runs out to the front of the school and freezes. Tyler Down is pointing a huge gun at Clay. Tyler Down is pointing a huge gun at Clay- and Clay apparently _knew _Tyler had a fucking gun and still ran out to meet him. The part of him that isn’t completely frozen reassess his view that Clay is okay, and tells him where it thinks Clay got his gun from. Justin wants to shout at Clay for recklessly endangering himself, but he’s scared that if he so much as moves Tyler will shoot Clay in the head before moving on him and Jess, and everyone else in the school. He’s forced out of his frozen state by remembering what happened last time he froze and sat back, especially with Jess by his side. He moves to call the cops, when then fucking Jensen tells him not to. Justin only agrees because Tyler readjusts the gun. Then before he knows it Tony Padilla has turned up in his car, Clay has the gun in his hands, and Padilla has swerved off again, gun-toting no longer psycho with him. At a loss to say he says the only thing he can think of,___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“This is so fucked up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________It seems Clay agrees with him and just returns a simple “yeah.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________They stay there standing in front of the school, hearing sirens in the distance, unclear if they’re heading to the school or not, and Justin thinks that maybe he will talk to Clay’s parents about his mental health. Because after that display he really doesn’t think Clay is alright, and his walking in front of the gun reminds him uncomfortably of that night outside Bryce’s. But if he told Mr and Mrs Jensen he’d have to explain how and why they let a potential school shooter evade the police, and he can’t do that. Not just because of the consequences for him, but also for Clay._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________So, Justin stays there at the entrance to Liberty high with Jess and Clay and decides that he, against his best judgement, selfishly won’t utter a word._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
